Mothering Today – Changes and Challenges

My Entry towards the IndusLadies 4th Annual International Women’s Day Blog Contest

Mothering Today – Changes and Challenges

There goes a famous line from O’London’s Tresure Trove, quoting “ The hand that rocks the cradle, is the hand that rules the world !”. Is it true ? Let’s hope so !

Motherhood is undoubtedly a very powerful attitude supported by eternal bliss. Being a Mother is the most rewarded service on the earth, yet one of the most challenging too.  As Today’s mothers just have the fullest possible pressure in their life amidst managing home chores , bringing up the kith & kin, fulfilling expectations of their family etc.  hence it is harder to be a parent today – especially a mother – than it was in the 1970s or 1980s.

To my mind, the ideology of being a perfect mom doesn't really prevail as the parameters are too subjective and challenging in today’s scenario. It is your choice to be the best, not the choice of a "mother-in-law" or "your neighbour  or even your "spouse". If you believe that you are not good enough, your children will pick up on that thought and believe they are not good enough either. 

However, it’s a widespread belief that today’s parents are not measuring up to the standard that parents set a generation ago. Mothers are seen as having the more difficult job, but they are also judged more harshly than are fathers.

Nowadays, it has almost become a strong conviction that today’s mothers are not up to the standard of mothers from a generation before. This is because the mothers are expected & judged more harshly than Fathers. I mean here that irrespective of being a working mother or a home maker; we face relatively more demands from our kids than of fathers who majorly face the monetary demands along with entertaining them by taking them out.

The biggest challenge in raising children today, is dealing with the outside influences of society on their kids. Beyond societal influences, other challenges in raising children include teaching morals and values, maintaining discipline, handling the financial aspects of child rearing, and dealing with their improved & at the same time complexed educational system.

These are seen as challenges to mothers because unlike yesteryears, today most of the families are nuclear & hence the responsibilities of incubating Moral values, ethics etc in the children’s mind are not happening under the able shadows of elders & the mother is single most influencing person under this arena.

Attitude towards working mother is in no way different than that towards housewives. A working mother has to manage her home also in addition to her work. A woman has no choice but to manage both the home and the work front otherwise she is under guilty feelings

But as in the case of every social change, there is a lag between actions and attitudes. While people may be willing to accept the idea of career women, they are not willing to excuse them from their duties as career moms.

The next biggest change & challenge for today’s mothers is people’s attitude towards working & non working mothers. In the case of every social change, there is a lag between actions and attitudes. While people are willing to accept the idea of women perusing her career, they are not willing to excuse them from their duties as mothers. First of all the term 'working mother' itself according to me is a “misnomer” as mothers are working round the clock even if they don't go for work.  In fact, a working mother who spends one hour of quality time every day with her child can probably nurture a better bondage with her child than the woman who is at home nagging the child all the time.

Most of the career oriented mothers will agree that mothers who have to go to work are not happy leaving their child at a young age. They feel guilty and anxious and their anxiety is transmitted to the child. Nevertheless, it’s true that “when a father is anxious, his friends & spouse get anxious too” but "When a mother is anxious, she makes everybody anxious." 

To summarize I would say that the views about how well mothers are doing their job have changed immensely over the past 10 years, thereby subjecting the young mothers to equip themselves with more assertiveness, more knowledge, more planning and more perseverance.

To have these innate qualities, I submit my humble suggestions as follows :

BE YOURSELF! Without conditions, without judgements  just BE YOURSELF! And then it won't matter what others around you are doing or saying, because you are being yourself and that is the greatest thing in the world, if you want your mothering to be fun, easy and fulfilling.

Thank you !!