10 ways of effective communication

Communicating the Montessori way 

                   Montessori Method of education needs to be communicated to the child through approach, body-language and proceedings according to the child’s reaction. This responsive communication helps the children to develop faith in their teachers and so they feel free to learn and explore thus developing themselves. Let us brief here below the ten effective ways of communication :

1)   Prepare the environment carefully, which conveys to the child that he is free to move about and explore or learn at his own will. It also shows that this environment contains various materials that interest him, which in turn challenge and inspire him for self development. We should use safe apparatus and child sized furniture which is comfortable for the child. For sensory apparatus, we need to offer real life objects instead of plastic ones, as the fake ones do not offer the scope of sensory stimulation when compared to the real objects.

2)   Use Pro-active guidance strategies, like praising the child when they behave duly. A child should be communicated that adults notice their alternate behaviour patterns. When he behaves well, we need to be pleased by just smiling or highlight quietly by saying “David, I hear how quietly you closed the door”. Contrary to this, if a child misbehaves, we must never retort immediately or try to punish him. Instead we need to accept his feelings and try to escort him towards appropriate behaviour. We should not support competition but communicate to the child that co-operative behaviour is highly saluted.

3)   Intervene gently, quietly and only when necessary. When a child is at work, a teacher should interfere as little as possible. She needs to watch the situation and cautiously plan how to intervene. After solving the dilemma she needs to leave the child instantaneously. During social contacts, she needs to wait for the children to patch up their own disparity by themselves. She has to get involved at once, only when the child is in danger.

4) Give a directed choice, which enables the child to decide without any half-hearted sacrifices. Instead of asking a child “What do you want ?” or asking him “Do you want to work on the puzzle ?”, we can give him a direct choice like “Suresh, do you wish to work on this puzzle or go out and do some gardening ?”. This way of communication reveals our confidence in the child’s decisive powers.

5)   Use touch often. Research conducted worldwide confirmed that touch is an effective form of communication. It gives caring and comfort for the child. It is helpful in the development of brain as well because touch enhances language activity. Anyway, all infants do not enjoy while touched. A teacher has to monitor each child’s preference and approach by gentle touching.

6)   Slow down, as we must communicate that the school is entirely focused on the requirements of the child. A trained teacher can think and act expertly but a child is in the juncture of just learning this proficiency. So, a teacher needs to set her pace equal to a child’s pace, as a child takes lot of time to examine each apparatus and then starts to work freely.

7)   Speak and listen with respect, as a teacher needs to study vigilantly and decide, what to say, how to say and whether to say it or not. We need to respect the child’s work and stay back quietly unless the child asks for assistance. It is essential to ask for his permission to take or move something that he is using. Similarly, we need to approach the child from the front and not from behind. We need to tell him what we are planning to do and should not force him to participate in activities but invite him to do so.

8)    Use non-verbal signals for quiet and stopping. During unexpected periods of emergency, we need to converse swiftly to the children for which we have to develop certain non-verbal signals. These should not be mixed up with other signals used in daily agenda or regular physical actions. Using non-verbal signals obtains the immediate attention of the children and so, should not be frequently used.

9)   Make socializing an everyday experience. A Montessori teacher’s main responsibility is to enable each child to mingle with people, cooperate and carry out social aptitude regularly. She has to present group activities, address each child by name, spend time with each child by talking, introduce story time and also present real life opportunities to practice social etiquette.

10)    Support competence and independence, by acknowledging the child’s expertise which makes the child feel that they are imperative members of the school community.

Observation and Communication

                   Observation is termed scientific as it is done systematically by careful analysis and accurate measurement of events. Observations on child behaviour are done technically which helps in predicting specific behaviour in children and their causes. Observation is also termed as an art to observe and scrutinize the practical problems children without distracting them.

Discoveries of Dr Montessori - II

                        In sequel to my earlier post, Discoveries of Dr Montessori - I, few more points are discussed here below : 

7) SEVERAL TOPICS CONSIDERED TOO HIGH FOR THE CHLDREN ARE NECESSARY FOR DEVELOPMENT

                         Maria discovered after careful study that several topics, which were considered too high or out of reach for a child’s knowledge, needs to be discussed in a House of Children. For example, topics concerning Life and Death, love, envy, bodily functions, sex roles, social awareness etc… When these topics were discussed appropriately with suitable examples, Maria saw that the children were mature enough to collect the knowledge required.

8) DISCIPLINE NEED NOT BE ENFORCED

                             In the olden system of education, the teachers infused discipline on the children. But in Montessori method, a totally diverse impression of discipline is witnessed. Discipline is invented when a child absorbs an object of attraction and interest, which provides him spontaneous exercise and also a ‘Control of Error’.

                       In the House of Children, a child behaved well, taking care of himself and others. He showed disciplined behaviour in maintaining silence, handling equipments, and interacting with others. Also the freedom in control of their errors, their love for silence and the difference of opinion for rewards and criticism was clearly displayed.

9) DISCIPLINE MUST COME FROM WITHIN, NOT IMPOSED FROM OUTSIDE

                               Children build up vital social qualities where they behave in a very friendly manner with others, helping them as well as quarrelling with them sometimes. Dr Maria observed that the absence of adults does not influence their discipline or work. 

                                Maria discovered that discipline has two forms. Inner discipline is formed due to the inner urge to follow the rules for development and the Outer discipline depends entirely on this. So, even if discipline is imposed from outside, it should be independent to reveal itself from within. So, discipline and freedom are equally important.

10) REAL OBEDIENCE BECOMES REAL DEVELOPMENT

                               Real obedience is the basis of human values like love, respect, faith, honesty etc… in character training. When this real obedience is practised at the child’s free will, it leads to a superior satisfaction, which becomes real development.

11) A CHILD’S MISBEHAVIOUR IS CORRECTED BY TRAINING HIM SUITABLY

                             Maria often witnessed that children misbehaved badly by showing signs of destructiveness, disobedience and stubbornness. But in a prepared environment under a trained adult, children behave quite opposite, showing orderly, responsible, loving behaviour  Maria discovered that the misbehaviour of the child is due to the fact that the child does not find the right conditions for development. She termed this ‘ The Social question of the child’.

12) Many of the activities presented to the children in the Montessori Schools are the result of the observation and contribution of Dr Maria Montessori. They can also be termed under discoveries. For example, Exercises of Practical Life, The Silent Activity, Walking on the Line etc…

13) Above all discoveries, we could proudly say that the whole ‘Prepared Environment’ is the greatest discovery of Dr Maria, which bases various discoveries where a child can independently work on self-development for his individual and social life.

                                  We would undeniably agree that Maria is a genius and the whole credit goes to her for sacrificing her entire life for the welfare of child education through modern methods.

Discoveries of Dr Montessori - I

              Further to our earlier post, that Dr Maria Montessori made keen observations and derived at some conclusions about the development in children,  let us now jot down and discus few of her discoveries she had made during her lifetime work :

1) CHILDREN LOVE TO WORK AND LEARN PURPOSEFULLY

     When a set of apparatus was given to the children to be used for a limited period of time, the children were keen to go on and on as long as they wanted. So, Maria discovered that the children had inner developmental need, which stimulated them to work with great interest again and again until their goal is acquired. We as adults need to provide necessary prepared environment for this development.

2) CHILDREN WORK WITH CONCENTRATION UNDER RIGHT CONDITIONS

    As explained in the previous point, the inner developmental need ignites an interest in the child. When the child works with an interest, the result is Spontaneous Repetition. Again, when this repetition is done with interest, the product is Concentration. Thus, any activity done with concentration enhances child development. When children are provided the right environment and apparatus, they work repeatedly until achieving a state of concentration for self-development. Maria has explained this in one of her books, where she was surprised to find a three-year old working with a cylinder and board apparatus, and repeated the exercise 42 times to fit the cylinder into the board. This observation made Maria believe that children had an inner urge for repetition of activity.

3) CHILDREN NEED ORDER FOR THEIR DEVELOPMENT

     Children require order not only with the environmental phase but also with values, functions and other human activities. 

      

       For example, the child gets confused when an adult does not practice human value like ‘say the truth’ in everyday life. Also, he is disturbed mentally when any object in the environment is used for a different purpose that it is meant for. For example, old unused toothbrush used for cleaning combs, the other end of a spoon used for tightening screws etc… Similarly, when we give contrary instructions on his behavior, it definitely creates a rift in him. That is, certain behavior, which we allow normally, is not allowed when a visitor is there. 

    We need to understand that a child undergoes everlasting personality development, which cannot be changed or altered once formed. The child looks for uniformity everywhere and he will recognize that things can also be unusual only as time passes by.

4) CHILDREN NEED FREEDOM TO CHOOSE THE ACTIVITY THEY NEED TO PERFORM

     Dr Montessori observed that when a number of learning apparatus is arranged in the shelves, a child has a tendency to choose the activity he finds challengeable, which he finds proportionate to his size and which is also according to his capacity. Maria learnt this principle of  ‘Freedom of Choice’ in her Casa Dei Bambini. One day when the teacher arrived late to school, she was surprised to see that the children had themselves opened the cupboard and selected the materials matching their inner need. She found them busily working with attentiveness, unaware of their surroundings or their teacher’s entry.

5) ACTIVITY IS ESSENTIAL FOR CORRECTING DEVELOPMENTAL ERRORS

     When all human powers work together, the child is termed ‘Normal Child’. But, there may be deviations from this normality in some of the children because of the lack of proper conditions for their development. If the defects caused during Infancy are not corrected, they remain forever and get worse, causing repercussions on mental life and intelligence. These defects vanish when the child gets absorbed in something, which interests him. We should provide a ‘Motive for Activity’ on which the child is so interested that he becomes absorbed in it. This concentration brings back the ‘Normalisation’.

6) DEVELOPMENTAL ACTIVITY BELONGS TO AREAS THAT THE CHILD NEEDS FOR BUILDING HIS PERSONALITY

          The activities like Sensorial, Language, Arithmetic, art and culture is required for the Child’s educational foundation but Maria discovered and introduced a new concept ‘Exercises of Practical Life’ (EPL) which helped in the formation of personality. Examples of EPL are participation of cooking, Gardening, Cleaning the House and other regular activities. Doing these EPL helps the child to increase his intelligence, Neuro-muscular co-ordination, psycho-motor unity, strengthen his will power and voluntary his movements. These developments together constitute the formation of an Integrated Personality.

Dr Maria Montessori - Biography

Who is Dr Maria Montessori ?

                      Dr Maria Montessori ( 31st Aug, 1870 to 6th May, 1952 ), is the founder of the Montessori system of education which was named after her. Basically she was a brilliant physician who transformed herself into an admirable, praiseworthy educationalist  I feel really honoured to furnish below her life history, which is definitely a strong inspiration to Montessori teachers like me.

Birth and Early life :

                  Maria Montessori was born in Chiravalle, Ancona in Eastern Italy on 31^st August, 1870. Her father was Alexandro Montessori employed in Italian Military Department. Her mother was Renilde Montessori, a cultured and highly educated woman. Though Maria’s father was very strict and had traditional notions, her mother was broad-minded in her opinion, expressions and manners, which encouraged Maria to take up a challenge-able career.

         

          Maria as a girl had radiant intelligence and bursting with energy. At the age of 17, when she expressed her aspiration of taking up Mathematics and science in technical college, her father strongly objected to this. Maria never gave up and fought for several years. Finally, she pursued a medical course, with paediatrics in her final two years of study. Thus, Maria became the first woman in Italy to earn a Medical degree. She graduated in 1896 as Doctor of Medicine and Surgery, with distinction. 

Maria - As a Feminist :

      In olden days, in Italy, girls were not allowed to study with boys. Men dominated woman nastily and this attitude was taken up against Maria also. She was harassed and ill treated by fellow male students. She had horrible nightmares and almost had a nervous breakdown. She silently took in all the hardships and at once decided fight for the rights of women, her entire lifetime. So, when she was offered to represent a Feminist Congress in Berlin in 1896, she will-fully accepted and lectured on the equality of working women against men. Also in 1900, she lectured against child labour in the mines of Sicily, in a Congress in London. 

Maria - researching as a Pychiatrist :

      Immediately after graduation, Maria’s first assignment was at the psychiatric clinic in the University of Rome, where she was appointed to treat mentally retarded children locked up in lunatic asylums. There she witnessed these children being treated with scorn and hatred. She came to a conclusion that if a special kind of education is given, the mental conditions of these children can be improved. So, she started her research, by reading the books and works of Jean Itard, Edouard Seguin and few other psychologists, who were specialists in the education of mentally deficient children.

          In 1899, Maria addressed a pedagogical congress on retarded children in Turin, where she expressed that “ Mentally handicapped children should be offered good education equal to normal children “. Her speech was so impressive that she was requested to deliver a sequence of sermons in Rome and finally she joined the National League for Education on mentally retarded children. 

Maria - Director at an Orthoprenic School :

      Following this, she was offered the position of Director of the State Orthophrenic School, Italy. She began working with the mentally deficient children, observing them, studying them and teaching them. After two years, when the children were taken for an examination along with the normal children, the success was astonishing. But, Dr Montessori was worried, as the normal children had gone backward in their education. So, she decided that normal children should also be offered similar type of educational principles.

                   In 1901, she resigned her job and started thinking about education for normal children. In order to equip herself to support the indefinite assignment, she took up courses in the University of Rome on Philosophy, Psychology and also studied on the nervous diseases of children. In 1904, she was appointed as the Professor of Anthropology and published her very First book ‘ Pedagogical Anthropology ‘. 

Her First Casa :

              Dr Montessori was waiting for an opportunity to experiment on the behaviour of normal children. Her wish came true in 1906, when she was offered the job to direct a school of children living in low-grade housing societies. Since their parents were poor, uneducated and were almost away from home on day labours,  these children were left uncared instigating annoyance to the neighbourhood.  Maria with the help of her only assistant Candida ( Best known as Signorina Nuscitelli ), organized and prepared an environment for the children to explore freely and safely.

                   This is how the first Casa Dei Bambini ( The House of Children ) was inaugurated in San Lorenzo in 6^th Jan, 1907. Here, Dr Montessori experimented and discovered a lot of superior qualities that the children possess. She quoted that “The intention of true education for very young children should be to fundamentally assist the development of physical, mental and spiritual growth”.

  

Recognitin of Montessori Schools :

                        Montessori Method of education was considered a very innovative system among the other educational systems of the world, which was publicized extensively in papers and magazines. Following this, many more Houses of children were opened in Rome and Milan.

                   After intense contemplation, Maria resigned her job as lecturer and gave up medical practice as well. She wanted to dedicate her full time for the education of children. She set up her own methods for teaching and learning. Though her earnings became inadequate, she launched a number of Houses of Children as per her own stipulations. Since, there existed lot of vacancies for trained Montessori teachers in these schools, she gave her first Montessori Teacher Training Course in 1909. Her lectures were published in a US Magazine in 1910 and translated in more than 20 languages as ‘ Montessori Method ‘.

                   In 1911, Italy and Switzerland approved and followed Montessori method of teaching in their schools. The teachers, who underwent training, started Houses of Children in Europe, Britain, Canada and US. Within two years, more that 100 schools were opened. Montessori Societies were Opened and Association Montessori Internationale ( AMI ) was set up in Berlin and then shifted to Amsterdam which offered proper Montessori Method of teacher training to interested students worldwide.

Life and her works :

    

                   Dr Montessori was a genius and a woman of innovative cleverness. Her students loved her, admired her and called her ‘Mammolina‘, which means ‘Darling Mamma‘. Not only she is a Doctor, an earnest teacher, but also an author. She has written a number of books, which exhibit the outcome of her devoted research. We ought to read all her books to understand her concept and system of Montessori Education. Among her books, The Absorbent Mind, The Secret of Childhood and The Discovery of the Child are A-Must-Read ones.

                   Though Maria’s academic career was a fruitful one, her personal life was a painstaking one. Her love life was a failure and she was in deep sorrow as she was not able to acknowledge her own son in the community. We need to leave this as it is because she never mixed her personal life with work.

Impact of World Wars :

   

                   The two world wars were also disturbing her career. She faced a lot of stern criticism and her method of education was discussed commonly. Her name and methods were openly abused.

                  

                   In 1922, Maria was appointed as Chief Inspector of Schools in Italy and Mussolini’s government agreed to support her in 1924. Later in 1934, she broke up with him due to the difference of opinion. All Montessori Schools were closed in Italy and she was deported to Spain and so AMI also moved to Spain following her. Civil War broke out in Spain in 1936 and Maria had to go to Holland. She resided there from 1937 to 1939. Before the invasion of Holland in 1940 , Maria left for India in 1939 itself accepting the humble invitation of Dr Arundale, the 3^rd President of Theosophical Society of Adyar, Chennai.

                   As there were Montessori Schools and teachers already in India, trained by Maria in Europe, she was welcomed enthusiastically. She stayed on for 7 long years in Adyar, Chennai conducting training courses and delivering lectures. She enjoyed her stay in India very much as Indians adored her, respected her and had a high regard for her philosophies and methods.

                   When the world war ended in 1945, she returned to Holland and came back to India again in 1947. She travelled around Pakistan in 1949 conducting training courses. She went to Austria in 1951 and had plans to tour Africa to spread Montessori educational systems. But, to our dismay, on 6^th May 1952, she  breathed her last ( due to cerebral haemorrhage ) at Noordwijk-on-sea, Holland.

Practise montessori system :

      

                   Thus, Dr Maria Montessori had toiled all her life for the enrichment on the educational methods for young children. Teachers undergoing Montessori courses have to read her books and adopt her methods on modern philosophy with utmost dedication. We are really privileged to have a great person like Dr Montessori who had given us notions to bring up well-educated children for the brilliant future of mankind. The best way to thank her hard work is that we need to first understand the spirit of the Montessori method. We need to inculcate this and practice meticulously to form a progressive society thus sowing universal harmony.

A Teacher’s Role

The Adult, who is the Directress or the humble Teacher,  is the steering soul in running the Nursery Class successfully, where she is devoted to lead the children in their self development, indirectly. Let's now take a close look on what qualities a teacher should possess to bring up successful children.

1) First of all, a teacher should absolutely confide in the child’s capability for development and facilitate the child to expose his personality and potentialities.

2) She should never infuse her own ideas and power on the child. 

3) She should respect his freedom to work and remain patient by quietly observing the child at work.

4) A teacher’s role is only to assist the child whenever needed and not interfere while he is working. 

5) She should remain calm and allow him to develop freely.  

6) She should be venerable and gentle in her thoughts, words and deeds. She should serve as a role model for the child.

7) She should develop a good rapport with the child to know more on his behaviour.

8) An adult can also help the child by maintaining the environment in a perfect order for his free access to all his tools for development. 

9) She is the main bond between the child and the study environment. She should be able to present activities to the children according to their needs. She must replicate presentations if the need arises. 

10)She should sustain records on each child’s activities and social manners seen at school. By organizing periodic parents’ and teachers’ meetings, she should discuss this child behaviour with the parents as to guide them to help out their children even at home.

Mothering Today – Changes and Challenges

My Entry towards the IndusLadies 4th Annual International Women’s Day Blog Contest

Mothering Today – Changes and Challenges

There goes a famous line from O’London’s Tresure Trove, quoting “ The hand that rocks the cradle, is the hand that rules the world !”. Is it true ? Let’s hope so !

Motherhood is undoubtedly a very powerful attitude supported by eternal bliss. Being a Mother is the most rewarded service on the earth, yet one of the most challenging too.  As Today’s mothers just have the fullest possible pressure in their life amidst managing home chores , bringing up the kith & kin, fulfilling expectations of their family etc.  hence it is harder to be a parent today – especially a mother – than it was in the 1970s or 1980s.

To my mind, the ideology of being a perfect mom doesn't really prevail as the parameters are too subjective and challenging in today’s scenario. It is your choice to be the best, not the choice of a "mother-in-law" or "your neighbour  or even your "spouse". If you believe that you are not good enough, your children will pick up on that thought and believe they are not good enough either. 

However, it’s a widespread belief that today’s parents are not measuring up to the standard that parents set a generation ago. Mothers are seen as having the more difficult job, but they are also judged more harshly than are fathers.

Nowadays, it has almost become a strong conviction that today’s mothers are not up to the standard of mothers from a generation before. This is because the mothers are expected & judged more harshly than Fathers. I mean here that irrespective of being a working mother or a home maker; we face relatively more demands from our kids than of fathers who majorly face the monetary demands along with entertaining them by taking them out.

The biggest challenge in raising children today, is dealing with the outside influences of society on their kids. Beyond societal influences, other challenges in raising children include teaching morals and values, maintaining discipline, handling the financial aspects of child rearing, and dealing with their improved & at the same time complexed educational system.

These are seen as challenges to mothers because unlike yesteryears, today most of the families are nuclear & hence the responsibilities of incubating Moral values, ethics etc in the children’s mind are not happening under the able shadows of elders & the mother is single most influencing person under this arena.

Attitude towards working mother is in no way different than that towards housewives. A working mother has to manage her home also in addition to her work. A woman has no choice but to manage both the home and the work front otherwise she is under guilty feelings

But as in the case of every social change, there is a lag between actions and attitudes. While people may be willing to accept the idea of career women, they are not willing to excuse them from their duties as career moms.

The next biggest change & challenge for today’s mothers is people’s attitude towards working & non working mothers. In the case of every social change, there is a lag between actions and attitudes. While people are willing to accept the idea of women perusing her career, they are not willing to excuse them from their duties as mothers. First of all the term 'working mother' itself according to me is a “misnomer” as mothers are working round the clock even if they don't go for work.  In fact, a working mother who spends one hour of quality time every day with her child can probably nurture a better bondage with her child than the woman who is at home nagging the child all the time.

Most of the career oriented mothers will agree that mothers who have to go to work are not happy leaving their child at a young age. They feel guilty and anxious and their anxiety is transmitted to the child. Nevertheless, it’s true that “when a father is anxious, his friends & spouse get anxious too” but "When a mother is anxious, she makes everybody anxious." 

To summarize I would say that the views about how well mothers are doing their job have changed immensely over the past 10 years, thereby subjecting the young mothers to equip themselves with more assertiveness, more knowledge, more planning and more perseverance.

To have these innate qualities, I submit my humble suggestions as follows :

BE YOURSELF! Without conditions, without judgements  just BE YOURSELF! And then it won't matter what others around you are doing or saying, because you are being yourself and that is the greatest thing in the world, if you want your mothering to be fun, easy and fulfilling.

Thank you !!